A very old woman called an attorney regarding her will. She was not
well enough to visit the office, and asked that the lawyer go to her
home to draw up the papers.
“I will have to check my schedule,” the lawyer replied. “What estate
size are we talking about?” “About $50,000 all together,” she replied.
“Who do you want to give it to?” the lawyer asked. “I have been alone my whole life,” the woman said. “I don’t have anyone to leave the money to, but I do know that I want to go out with a bang. To that end, I want to spend $40,000 on a funeral people won’t forget.”
“That leaves $10,000. What do you want to do with that?” the lawyer asked. “This is a bit odd, but throughout my life, I have never known the company of a man, Biblically speaking. I was hoping that perhaps you could find someone to be with me one time for $10,000.”
That night, the attorney related to his wife the events of the day.
“Can you imagine, she wants me to be a pimp,” the lawyer said. His
wife, however, had dollar signs in her eyes. “Well, it would be doing a good deed of sorts. I think you should do it yourself.” After some
arguing, she got him to agree.
The next morning, the lawyer’s wife drove him over to the woman’s house and waited in the car. After an two hours went by, and fed with waiting, she blew the car horn. A minute later, the attorney poked his head out of the bedroom window.
“Come back tomorrow,” he yelled. “She decided to let the county bury her!”
“…a cottage industry of private fee-based providers, were authorized to provide CLE. All to make lawyers more competent. Really?…Yeah, our ability to bullshit ourselves with facile arguments is one of our strongest skills. If only we were as good at cross-examination. But I digress.”